We all believe in something. Something that gives us strength to go forward everyday, in every work and in every relation. They say if one door closes, another opens. And we believe! So whatever happens next is believed to be coming from the open door. But, what if the things coming your way will only push you deeper into your problems?
Everyone wants to believe that the next day might bring better future, better money and better happiness. And that belief allows our mind to sleep in the expectancy of the next 'better' day. How about people struggling for each day and still carry on? No, I ain't talking about home less or labours or handicaps or people fighting with terminal diseases. They all somehow know that there's an end to all this and it's either death or achieve something unbelievable for their condition.
What if you have a pretty apartment to live in, liberty to spend how-much-ever, roam around in cars, eat good food and no physical problems but, helpless inside? There's a war going on inside your brain. Your mind. To any person you are a pretty, all smiles woman living her life on her own terms. Lavishly, some may say.
But the war has consumed me. It's everyday. It doesn't leave me sane enough to be human like. To feel human like. My only best friends are antidepressants or alcohol. Ohh yes they make me numb. That's a nice way to feel. Because the sounds fade away. The mind is so fucked up that it can no longer function with the brain drowning in the effects of both my best friends.
Some may say this is a scapegoat to run away from problems. Yes it is!!! Because you haven't gone through what I went and still going. It keeps me strong enough to buy myself sometime until I finally 'decide'!!!
MJ
